Wednesday, October 5, 2011
One of the things I have learned in the process of healing after the loss of my daughter is to let go of some of my anger. When I look around and see irresponsible people having children that they end up neglecting or mistreating, it is easy for me to get angry. It seems so unfair that these people should have children while I do not. Why this happens is one of the questions I have asked God several times over the last year and a half. Then a few months ago God answered with a question of His own. Could I honestly say that I wish any child had not been born? Or would not be born? Of course, my answer to this was no and it made me realize I had been looking at things the wrong way. Instead of focusing on how unworthy or undeserving I thought the parents were, I needed to accept that God must want those children to be born, that their lives may have a higher purpose. I thought of all the people who began in adverse circumstances that ended up doing great things with their lives. People like my dad and like Steve Jobs, who was born to unwed college students and then adopted. And I realized, I have to let my anger go and just trust that God knows what He is doing.