Versions of Chai

Of all the poems in the chapbook, this is probably my least favorite. It is barely more than an idea for a poem. After seeing one negative line on pregnancy tests for so long, I wanted to write something about the significance of the two positive lines. While working on the chapbook, I also tried to experiment with different forms of poetry. This was my attempt at a short poem, but I am definitely no Katerina Stoykova-Klemer. There is so much that is not communicated in this poem. How is the reader to know that I have never really liked pink? Also, not all pregnancy tests have pink lines (or lines at all) so this may not make sense to everyone. Two Lines Who knew there would come a day when pink would be the most important color and two lines would change my life forever

Okay, I know this one isn't exactly a poem--it's more like a series of journal entries--but I thought it might work on some kind of modern level. I actually wrote this (or the majority of it) in the waiting room of the Urgent Treatment Center the day I had my first positive pregnancy test. I wrote it on scraps of paper from my purse. It is very autobiographical, although I've left out some of the details. When trying to conceive, everything revolves around the cycle calendar and trying to predict the small window of time when conception can occur. The last week of the calendar is the worst because the window of time has passed, but it is too early to take a pregnancy test. In fact, the waiting and wondering can be torture. My intention in writing this was to express some of that anxiety.

I have had a difficult time writing commentary about this poem--probably because I recently had a reminder of this very subject and it just seems so unfair. With all the steps and medications and everything else that I have done trying to conceive, it blows me away that someone can "accidently" get pregnant. I wrote this poem to vent some of my frustration. It's really just a beginning and definitely needs some work.